Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

What was your best revenge story?

I see through liars

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

What do feminists mean when they say they want to ‘normalize’ menstruation and its discussion?

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I know who the president of Turkey really is

Procter & Gamble says it will cut 7,000 jobs over the next 2 years - CBS News

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

Billion-dollar battery plant pauses construction amid electric vehicle and tariff uncertainty - AP News

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

Smoking Weed and Eating Edibles Share This Surprising Health Risk - Gizmodo

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

What is the difference between anxiety and depressive neurosis?

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I can read

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

Evan Engram embraces the “Joker” role in the Broncos’ offense - NBC Sports

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

Ice Age mastodon remains discovered in West Feliciana Parish creek by two LSU scientists - The Advocate

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

Dozens of Hooters locations abruptly closed: List of latest closures - 9News

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

What did Rama tell Sita about Kaliyug?

I have complete contempt for fakery

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

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I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I have a reading level above third grade

I don’t buy bullshit

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I don’t cotton to rapists

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I actually pay taxes

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I can count